Balls of Steel Episode 9: Twerk-Or-Treat
“Last time on a very ogre-licious Balls of Steel… With some help, Chwiis was able to sneak onto the island and take over the show as host, with Aqua as his assistant. The final eight competitors finally merged and an individual game began! Alliances were crushed, and lives were at stake in the most fun immunity challenge yet, which was won by Fiz. At the Survivor-styled elimination ceremony, a blindside occurred as Meta’s torch was snuffed. Seven are left, who will get raped…. TONIGHT!?” (Intro plays) (Merge Camp- Day 25) Dark: So…… Dem llamas. Fiz: Still can’t believe I won immunity. I am a G.oddess! Grass: Yeah, good for you…. Heo: Why do you seem so down, Grass? Grass: Gee, I wonder why… Heo: Hey, if this is about last night, I just wanna let you know that Ally bribed me with a gift certificate for Church’s Chicken. Grass: So basically, you stopped thinking with your B and moreso with your D, am I correct? Heo: >.> Chip: Oh chill out Grass. No need to be so bitter and butthurt over a game. Heo: You know, I can’t believe I’m saying this, but for once I completely agree with Chip. Ally: I like trees! Chip: Hey ,that’s my line! Ally: No it ain’t. I don’t see your name on it. So bye! Grass: Whatever. I’m going out for a walk in the woods. Gimme a holler if you need anything. Heo: And be alone in the woods with you of all people? No gracias! Grass: Real mature. (Grass walks off into the woods as Chip and Fiz center around Heo) Chip: Ok, now that he’s gone. It’s time we had a little talk. I don’t like you, you don’t like me. But together, just for this next vote, we can make a power move. Heo: What do you mean? Fiz: He saying that we vote out Grass. He playing too hard from Day One. He is only using you as a #Goat. And if he makes it to the end, he wins. Heo: Hmm… I don’t know. Grass is my boi. Although I wish he would admit the same about me instead of picking on my lovelife all the time. Fiz: Wait, you have a lovelife? Chip: BAHAHAHA good one, Fiz! Heo: ._. Chip: Relax, we’re just messing with ya. Besides, unlike Grass, we aren’t trying to use you as a goat. *winks at Fiz* Fiz: Yeah, totes. Heo: I’ll think about it. (Meanwhile, in the distance we see Dark and Toast working on their bread garden) Toast: I say, do you ever get the feeling we might be in danger? Dark: Nah, we’re too Max Goof for danger… Well, I am, at least. Toast: I don’t know, I just get this funny feeling that every time the others separate into groups to talk, they is discussing strategy. Or maybe that’s just the butter speaking. Dark: You don’t think that once Grass, Fiz, and Chip are gone that we’re next? That would mean it’s us two vs Heo and Ally. Toast: Nah, if anything everyone else will be too busy targeting each other, then we’ll end up being the Final two. Dark: I like that idea. Sounds very Max Goofilicious B) Toast: And very toasty! ---- Toast: *In Confessional* You know, that Dark person isn’t such a bad guy after all. Although, it would be nice to outlast him out here. Just to be able to say that I am indeed the superior. Lord Toast! Dark: *In Confessional* Toast is pretty chill. But I’m just too Max Goof to lose to him. ---- Fiz: So Grass is gone next, right? Chip: Yep. Ally: Agreed! Chip: Heo? Heo: Oh, alright. The four of us vote Grass. He goes. Chip: Yes! See you guys in the Final Four! ;) ---- Chip: *In Confessional* Pfft. As if that would be my preferred final four. As soon as Grass is gone, I am ditching Heo and Ally. You can bet on it! Fiz: *In Confessional* After seeing so much #Survivor. Why do I have a feeling something bad will happen and shit will hit the drain? ---- (Immunity Challenge- Day 26) Chwiis: Alright, aboriginals. Get ready, because today’s challenge will be about trivia! So be sure to get those simple American minds functioning extra hard today! ---- Fiz: *In Confessional* Fuck! Knew it! Trivia is something for Grass to rape in! ---- Chwiis: Here is how this will work: Aqua will ask a series of questions relating to the previous eight contestants that have been voted out. First person to reach five points, wins immunity. Also, be sure to hit the buzzer if you know the answer. Fiz: Buzzers….. great. Aqua: Alright bitches, first question: What is the number at the end of Ultra’s username? Grass: *hits buzzer* Aqua: Grass? Grass: 98. Aqua: Correct! Point one for you! Next question: What is GO’s favorite tv show? Grass: *hits buzzer* Aqua: Grass? Grass: Friends. Aqua: Correcto! Next question: Who did Rocky sexually violate before getting voted out? Fiz: *hits buzzer* Aqua: Yes Fiz? Fiz: It was me! Aqua: Correct! The score is 2-1! Next question: Does JRO have any friends irl? Fiz: *hits buzzer* Nope. Aqua: Correct! The score is now tied 2-2! Next question: Who is Rocker’s idol? Grass: *hits buzzer* Janelle from Big Brother. Aqua: That is correct! Hate that Godding bitch btw. Anyways, 3-2, next question: What is RJ’s favorite season of Survivor? Fiz: *hits buzzer* Cook Islands! Aqua: Point to Fiz! We are tied again, 3-3! Next question: Who is Bat’s favorite character? Grass: *hits buzzer* Bridgette. Aqua: And Grass leads 4-3! One last question. If Grass gets this right, he wins. If Fiz gets it, we tie. Final question: What is Meta’s real first name? (Fiz hits the buzzer, but for some reason it doesn’t work) Grass: *hits buzzer* Is it Zach? Aqua: ……. GRASS WINS IMMUNITY! Grass: Aw yeah! Fiz: Wtf I hit the buzzer this shit is rigged. Chip: Congrats Grass, you earned it. ;) Grass: Uh, thanks, JewBoi. ---- Chip: *In Confessional* Not gonna lie, towards the end there I realized how much of a challenge threat Fiz is. And part of me wanted to see Grass pull a victory. So, at the last minute, I sabotaged Fiz’s buzzer. It was nothing, really. ---- (Merge Camp- Day 27) Fiz: So, uh Chip. Who are we voting out now? Chip: Dark. I don’t like the fact he’s been floating all this way. Fiz: I agree. It would be nice to see a UTR person get blindsided. ---- Fiz: *In Confessional* I don’t feel so good about this. ---- (Heo walks up to Grass) Heo: Hey Grass. What’s up? Grass: Here to kiss my ass, I see. Heo: Oh come on. It was just a little argument that’s all. Friends argue all the time. Besides, I have no one else. Ally has started to pretend I don’t even exist, and Toast keeps making racist comments at me. What’d ya say? Grass: Hmmm… I don’t know… I guess one more vote wouldn’t hurt. Heo: Si! Si! Si! Gracis El Grassi! I promise I wont dissapoint you! *hugs Grass* Grass: Okay don’t be a fuq boi now. Heo: T_T Grass: *In Confessional* You know, maybe I could use Heo as an ally still. Me, him, Dark and Toast could still run things around here. We’ll see…. ---- (Elimination Ceremony- Night 27) Chwiis: Alright. You all know how this works. The votes have been cast. When I call your name, you are safe. You will receive a Shrek 2 DVD. Safe are….. Grass Chip Ally Toast Aaannnnddd Heo. Fiz: Motherfucker! I knew that son of a bitch was lying! Chwiis: Which leaves us to our bottom two: Dark and Fiz. Dark, you’re on the chopping block for constantly doing nothing while still managing to slide by. And Fiz, you’re on the chopping block for being deemed too threatening and untrustworthy. Fiz: Like, it’s called strategy! I have standers too, ya know. Chwiis: And the final Shrek 2 DVD goes to…… …… ….. …… …. ……. ……. …… Dark! *tosses DVD to Dark* Dark: Woohoo! Chwiis: Which means your time here is up, Fizzy. The Hurl of Shame awaits, bro. Fiz: *sighs* Well, atleast I had a great run. Ally: OMG! I’ll miss you Fiz! Fiz: I will miss you too, Ally. And fuck you Chip! Why you lie to me like that? Chip: Eh, it just came up to me that you are useless and can’t be trusted. So see ya! Fiz: Whatever. at least hopefully I will be deemed as a legendary G.oddess over at TDRPW Sucks. (We cut to Fiz sitting on a large catapult, aka the Hurl of Shame) Chwiis: Any last words? Fiz: Sweg. Chwiis: Aqua, release him! Aqua: *releases catapult, causing Fiz to go flying hundreds of feet into the night sky* Chwiis: And with that, six fgts are left fighting for a million US dollars. Until next week, I’m your host Chwiis, saying good night everybody. (End) (Preview for Episode 10 plays) “Next time on Balls of Steel… With six left, it comes down to three alliances: Ally/Chip, Grass/Heo, and Dark/Toast. And so the triangle begins to heat up.” Chip: This is do or die it seems. “Meanwhile, Heo finally makes a move on Ally” (We see Heo in some Shakespeare-like costume as he gets down on his knees and offers Ally a rose) “It all happens on Balls of Steel, Episode 10: O Aaliyah, Where Art Thou?” (End of preview) (Fiz’s final words air) Fiz: I honestly think my biggest downside was I played too hard. I just wanted to be remembered is all, for being a good player and not just twerking and other gay stuff. In the end, I has no regrets and am proud to be a 7th placer. Peace.